Silence by Jay Chou

 

Esta de volta ao Brasil eh super bom!

Matar a saudade da familia, amigos e lugares!

Tem sido muito especial estar aqui com vcs!

Minha irmã ALessandra mora em Recife e eu que nao sou boba nem nada, estou passando 3 semanas aqui com ela, matando a saudade !

Já fizemos de tudo um pouco, fomos ao  centro velho , andamos de bugue, jangada, fomos a Itamaraca, mas o melhor mesmo foi Porto de galinhas!

 

Maravilhoso! Sem palavras!Deus estava de muito bom humor quando criou Porto de Galinhas! Deu ate vontade de ir para o Ceu mais rapido so de imaginar qto deve ser lindo por lá!

 

Agora o melhor de tudo foi mergulhar! Era o sonho da Ale, e lá fui eu com ela!

Máscara, pé de pato, oxigênio... o problema foram os peixinhos!

UPs... eu descobri que tenho pavor de peixe!

Mas valeu o fundo do mar sem duvida eh o lugar mais lindo que eu ja vi!

 

 

E foi papai que criou!

 

Nesta correria para deixar tudo pronto, fazer malas, despedir de amigos eu nem me dei conta que as estacoes estavam mudando novamente.

Pois eh ! segundo o calendario lunar ja estamos no outono!

AH?

Sim,  apesar do calor intenso,  das manhas com neblina e de noites abafadas ja estamos no Outono lunar.

 

E a natureza, que segue rigorosamente as leis que Deus estipulou quando criou nosso mundo, nao me deixa mentir!

 

Ontem quando deixei minha cidade em rumo a capital, pelo caminho pude contemplar a beleza e o misterio de Deus.

As arvores estao perdendo o verde intenso , suas folhas comecaram amarelar e as mais delicadas ja comecaram a perder folhas.

Os fazendeiros ja comecaram a limpar o campo , e as preparacoes para a  colheita  ja estao comecando.

 

Eu porem estou saindo antes que o outono se instale...rumo ao sul... vou persseguir o sol e aterrizar numa terra em que a primavera so' esta comecando!

Pois eu este ano eu so quero florescer! e crescer... e deixar que o sol brilhe sobre mim...

 

 

Brasil ai vou eu! 

For two and half year TJ has been my home...i saw people coming and going, i saw the seasons changing, i saw myself changing...

Now is time to go to my other home..BRASIL.. and how much i miss that home is something i cant explain, but if i could use words to describe it would be something like ..i miss Brasil  as one would miss air .... as one would  miss the smile of the beloved one... as one would thursty for water on a hot day...

 

But i will miss TJ ... i will miss my friends... my house... my bike...i will miss the smell of yangrou chuar( kabobs), or the thousand bikes on the street... i will miss the eldery people dacing on the public squares ... i will miss people saying  WAI GUO REN ( foreigner) ... i will miss...

 

I will miss ...

 

SO i will be back!!

 

I guess this is why we need to miss a place .... it is a reminder that we belong somewhere!

 

See you guys in January!

 

Lando... we just met a month ago and i ask myself why it took so long for us to meet... since then we have been spending time together everyday... he is quite, but if i am on the mood to talk he is always willing to interact.. he can be quite strong but normally he has this nice tone  that brings a smile to my heart... Lando is spanish and as every latin he really knows how to turn life into a "caliente" melody... no boring days with Lando...my roommates are saying that i spend too much time with Lando... and they feel like i am negleting them...but what can i do...i just cant stop ....ooh by the way ... Lando is not a guy neighter a dog... Lando is my new guitar... and yes i do play guitar ...

Hoje comecam as comemoracoes de ano novo chines que so vai comecar no dia 17 de fevereiro , mas hoje os fogos de artificios comecaram anuciar a virada de ano... meus vizinhos comecaram a lavar as janelas, nas ruas os vendedores ambulantes estao carregados de bandeirinhas, lanternas, e todo tipo de decoracao para o festival... tudo em VERMELHO

 

O ano novo chines , conhecido tambem como FESTIVAL DA PRIMAVERA, eh marcado pelos fogos de artificios, decoracoes vermelhas piduradas nas portas e janelas, e lanternas de papel vermelho espalhadas por todo lado.

Cada coisa tem o seu significado e tudo em funcao de atrair bons fluidos, bencaos e sorte no ano que comeca.

Como no nosso natal as familias se reunem e comem dumplings, um pastel cozido que eh recheado com carne e vegerdura.

Na noite de ano novo fogos de artificios pipocam pela cidade por horas a fio.

 

Daqui uma semana as grandes cidades ficam vazias, pois todos voltam as suas cidades natal para vizitar os pais e avos que ficaram por la'.

Hoje eh o inicio da contagem regressiva. Pois como o calendario eh lunar por aqui, entao como nas fases da lua os chineses vao comemoram de pouquinho em pouquinho a troca de ano...

 

os fogos comecaram ... sao 7 da noite... FELIZ comeco de contagem regressiva de ANO NOVO...

I have a maker

He formed my heart

Before even time began

My life was in his hands

 

I have a father

He calls me his own

He will never leave me

No matter where i go

 

He knows my name

He knows my  every thought

He sees each tear that falls

And hears me when i call

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

can somebody explain me why it is so hot???

it is driving me crazy!

yeah i am complaining!

and please dont give me that talk: but you are brazilian you should like it!!!!

just for your information : i hate summer!

 

please somebody ..... can somebody turn the temparature down?????

and one more thing : 64% humidity??? that's insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name :Giza

 

Nationality: Brazilian

 

Age: who cares!

 

Job: to be my mom!!!

 

Yeah that's her job! Dont get me wrong it is a lot of work! I was adifficult child, as she always says. When i was just 10 months old i was walking, talking , and drving my mom crazy. Poor mom!

On my first bithday , gramma gave me this beautiful dress but as soon as i put it on the story tells that i was crying and saying that i didnt want to wear that THING! I never believed that story, but the pictures are there to prove that my mom had to buy me something else to wear! A Jeans shirt and white blouse !( that sounds more like me!

When i was little she lost the count on how many times she had to prove that she was my mom. Once we were going back home after a summer on my grandfather's beach house, when she got to the airport and was checking in they asked her for my documents, she didnt have it, to make a long story short , she end up on the child care office with me and after a long talk the officer told her she would not be able to fly , so he sent her to tell the airline , but when she was going out of the office i started to cry and call " mom , mom!"

The officer stopped her and gave her the permission to fly : " she is your child ! I can HEAR it!"

This wasthe firs but  not the last time people didnt believe that she was my mom. Why?

Well , can a blond white curly girl be a brunet long dark hair tiny little beautiful young woman's daugther???

Still today people refuse to believe that we are mom and daughter.

Of course i am her first born , and the genetics explain all that matter.

But for those that will meet my mom on the next fews days let me say one thing:

I am so proud to be this little woman's daughter!

She is my inspiration and example . I have never met stronger person!

Her life story could be on a book , and for me would be a privillege to be included on a few pages.

She raised me on HIS way and even when dad left her , she kept her faith and never lost the vision.

In the past it used to bother me that people would belive us , now i dont really care!

I wish i could look like her ( because she is so beautiful), but what i really want is to be a good mom like she is to me , and that one day my daughter will be writing about me. I really wish that my offspring will look at me and respect  me the way i respect and love her. 

 

So my mom  will be in China within ... 21 hours!  Do you know what she said last night? 

Why do you have to live soooooooooo far! Do you realize that i am doing this because i love you?! 36 hours !!!

 

Yeah mom ! I know YOU LOVE ME , and that's why i am who i am ! Because you never let me forget that i am loved and precious!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom is coming!!!

I can't believe! 10 more days!!!

One year and 4 months away from home! I haven't forgot her voice or her face because we talk every week, and from time to time they send me pictures, but i cannot remember how it is to receive her hug or her perfume.

There are so many things that i miss here, but what i miss  her the most , i can hear here voice and see her face on my computer but nothing is like her sweet perfume in the morning and her  warm hug !

 

Minha mae esta chegando!

Nem posso acreditar! 10 dias!

Um ano e 4 meses longe de casa! Eu nao esqueci da voz dela e nem de com eh o rosto dela , pois agente se fala toda semana e de tempos em tempos eles me mandam fotos la' do Brasil, mas eu ja nem me lembro mais como eh receber um abraco dela ou o perfume dela!

Eu sinto falta de muita coisa aqui, mas o q mais sinto falta eh da minha mae, eu posso ouvir a voz dela e ver a foto dela, mas nada eh igual ao perfume dela pela manha e o seu abraco!

 

 

After two weeks in Hong Kong,lots of sun , a day on the beach, i came back to Tian Jin ready for spring!

But everything is grey still, so Alice and I decided to go and get some color to your home!

We went nuts !  In China if you need to buy something just ask around and you will find a market full of that thing.

If you need shoes , shoe market. Clothes , clothe market. Kitchen utensils , kitchen market... you name it , they have it !

So flower market was our target last weekend !

Three hours of green, green , green , green.... Did we buy anything ?Of course! And now our house smells like spring , looks like spring .... ups  we even have  a fish bowl  with  6  little fish ! And of course they had to match the living room, guess what color they are?

Orange!

Sometime ago my teacher asked me if i had any hobbies, it was the hardest question ever.

Why?

Cause i had to confess that i dont have one, everything i do either has to do with my work or i do it because i have to do.

She was suprised , me too.

We tried to find something i do just for fun, just to enjoy my self. Bad news, i couldnt find it.

I study chinese because it is necessary, i ready because it is essetial for my mental health, i swim because it is good for my health, i ... well

Also talking to a friend i realized that it seems that i have to be passionate about something otherwise i wont do it. But i guess it is about time for me to change a little , just a little .

So this is my Chinese new year resolution:

Taking pictures will be my hobbie for this year.

I am terrible, and my pictures are never what i really want them to be, but i decided that it doesnt matter.I will take them anyway, i will publish them here, and whatever, if you like me just a little you will encourage me checking my blog once in a while, leave a message about them, and i will keep doing it just because i will do it , not because i need it , not because i have to, just because.

 

So how a year can change a person?

Good question isn’t it? Apart from the fact that my hair is longer , that I am slimmer and that now I can speak some Chinese? What else can I say that changed??

 

After writing the first part of this letter my mom asked me when I was going to finish it, I said “soon”, actually I was trying to say I have to think first and then I can finish it.

So this is what is on my mind now…

Remember that book that I could not bring? I didn’t really miss it, cause when I got here I had  to interact with people instead of hide my self behind a book cover, so instead of reading somebody else’s experience, I had to had my own, it was like reading a living book, a book that doesn’t have paper pages but have real stories about real people.

I had to become more open about me , so I could gain people’s respect and trust, I had to learn how to listen , which is not easy for me (  born to be a teacher kind of person).The time passed and I became more and more interested in getting to know my new friends , and more open to learn from them( again really hard for a teacher)

I had to let people take care of me , I had to show my weakness and receive love from strangers ( at least I thought they were) , I had to let dad guide me through  a valley that for me looked more like the death valley  than  a promised land.

I was so scared at the beginning…

And I am still scared…

Every new relationship challenges me to be more my self, more who I was created to be…

During this year , dad allowed me to pass through some adversities, and to be really honesty so many times I asked him why, so many times I asked him “ are you sure this is the right place for me?”

But I didn’t know he was changing me , not to be a different person, but to be more me…not who I wanted to be, but the person that he planned me to be, not just outside , but inside, not to please other people, but to please him, not to feel better about me , but to be right with him.

He changed me , he molded me, he refined me

He showed me how miserable, how small and fragile I am ,

How easy it is for me to lose the perspective of who He is and who I am

Do you know when He says that a day is like ten thousand years and ten thousand years can be like a day?

I guess I understand it better now, the work he has to do within us can be done in a day or in a thousand, it just depend on us!

I don’t miss any of my material things that I left behind, I do miss my family and friends, sometimes places and smells…I used to miss myself , you know … sometimes, because of the language and so many other things I felt I was not myself anymore, and I missed that, but finally I realized that I cannot miss that cause what I am today is a better version of who I was before

Not that I am more perfect now, just that I am more who I am suppose to be, not hiding my fears and thoughts , not hiding my Latinity ( is that a word?), and above all things not forgetting who I am in Him.

 

I could say much more, there are so many other things that changed inside of me , but that is something I am learning now, there is a time for everything, and right now I am not really to talk about them so lets say that they are a working project at the moment.

Just one more thing, if you are reading this and you are part of my new community now, I just want to thank you so much for being part of this process. If you are part of the community who supports me from far , thank you so much for the love and care you have shared with me.

Thank you guys , without you I couldn’t do it!

But hey , next time the letter will be more funny and less deep , otherwise I know that some of you will never read anything I write again!

Alice is my roomate , and since she got to China she was talking about going to Beijing but we never had the time, so last weekend was her birthday and Rachel invited us to go join her on a short visit to BJ , and of we went!

We had decided to avoid all "the most visited places" and try to look for different things to do.

 Rachel had a list of things, we picked Jing Shan Park , north of the Forbiden city. We also had in mind to spend the least as possible.

So this is what we did: we checked in on a Hostel across from Beijing Central Station ( 60 kuai each), then we took the subway to Tian an men ( 3 kuai) , and i know you will say "  but that's the most visited place in BJ " , but i will answer " we had to start from somewhere, right?". From Tian an men we walked 40 minutes to get to Jing Shan Park, we we took  a side street east from the Forbiden city, which took us through the most amaizing and unexpected sights of BJ, narrow alley ways, old houses, and all for free, 40 minutes of real China, with a touch of adventure. We took loads of pictures, and soon i will post them here, but it was the best walk i had in China so far.

 Rachel menttion that one of her professors back in Israel , told them if they wanted to know the real Jerusalem they should get every chance to snick in , so he said " if you see an open gate or door just go in ,you will never know". So we did that, we found this old alley way and there we were, inside someone's house, or maybe their back yard. Nobody stopped us ,or asked what we  were doing there. If anyone would dare to ask the waiguoren, i would them  answer in portuguese ( he he he) " just looking".

We had fun!

When we got to the Park ( 2 kuai each) I had i feeling that it would be the most boring place ever, but after a short climb i discoverd that i was wrong.

Away from the crowd , up on that hill we could see all the forbiden city, great part of old Beijing, lakes, pagodas, parks...

A perfect sunset for a perfect day!

But still more to come.

It was only 5 pm , so we walked towards the subway, still walking towards the north, and we found more of those alleys , and we just couldnt help ourselfs to explore...

But we still had one more mission to accomplish: Take ALice to a Mexican restaurant!

So we did.

Ok , I know, that's not cheap, neighter it is authentic Chinese food!

But come on! It was her birthday! And she eats chinese everyday!

Misson accomplished and almost with no more strengh to walk we had back to the hostel!

See it is possible to enjoy a good day in Beijing for less than 200 kuai.

 

 

Alice and i already have plans for the next time, and maybe we will come up with a guide " how to spend a day in Beijing with less than 100 kuai"